


Fic Collection for origfic_bingo

by jadekirk



Series: The James Tales: Life and Times of a Chef [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Original Work
Genre: Multi, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 12:08:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadekirk/pseuds/jadekirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of unrelated ficlets rated from PG13 to R written for the livejournal community origfic_bingo. Prompts are (in order) Resurrection (PG13), Exhibitionism (R), Rockstar (PG13), Wildcard - AU Meeting alternate selves (PG13), Kitchen disaster (PG13) and Trouble (PG13)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Higher Ground

Title: Higher Ground  
Characters: James (OC), Rob (OC)  
Summary: James has an accident.  
Rating: PG13  
A/N: Part of the origfic_bingo prompts  
Prompt: Resurrection

 

James sucked in a breath and sat up, startling his friend and boss, Rob. The first thing he noticed was that he was lying on the hard stone floor in the kitchen. "What happened?" James asked, not fighting when Rob pushed him back down. His head and neck hurt. He brought his hand to his head, noticing the slightly sticky feel to his scalp. "Ow."

"Lie still," Rob ordered. "You slipped and your head hit the table." His voice suddenly choked. "I thought you were dead as there was a loud crack. You stopped breathing and there was no pulse."

"Oh," James said, as there wasn't much he could say to that. He tried to sit up again. He moved his hand to check his pulse. "At least I have a heartbeat this time. I wasn't dead long enough to have the paddles. Those things hurt!"

"John went to call an ambulance. I was going to perform CPR on you."

"How embarrassing," James muttered. "Cause of death: accident in the kitchen."

"Don't even joke about that!" Rob exclaimed. "I thought I had lost one of my best chefs and my friend."

John, the head waiter, rushed back in with the paramedics. "He's in here." He looked down to James. "I see the CPR worked on you. Glad to have you back in the land of the living."

"Yeah, I'm too stubborn to die," James pointed out as he was checked over by the paramedics. "I hope when I do shuffle off the mortal coil, it's not something embarrassing like getting eviscerated by the waste disposal or something. "

"Stop joking about it," Rob said sternly. "And ew!"

"Any pain?" one of the paramedics, a tall slim red headed man, asked, gently running his fingers over James' neck and head.

"I have a headache and my neck hurts," James answered with a growl. He smiled wryly at Rob, deciding to try and lighten the mood a bit. "You still could, you know. Perform CPR on me, I mean."

"I can tell you're feeling better if you're flirting with me."

"I flirt with everyone after I've been killed," James stated with a sly smile. "Seriously, I'll just lie here and play dead."

"You have a possible concussion and a broken neck," the other paramedic said, finishing up his check up.

"Are you sure?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. "I have a slight pain in the neck and a headache but otherwise I feel all right."

"We'll have to take you to the hospital to be x-rayed."

"I can move my feet and everything," James said, demonstrating that he could do that. He saw Rob's look and sighed. "Fine. I'll go."

"Good."

"This is so undignified," James muttered as he was strapped into a backboard and loaded onto a stretcher.

"It's for your own good," Rob said, following the stretcher to the ambulance. "I'm coming with you.... to keep you out of mischief." He lowered his voice. "And we need to discuss some things such as your lack of Deadness."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I'm hard to kill," James stated, shifting his eyes to look at Rob. "Now don't go getting ideas."


	2. Dirrty

Title: Dirrty  
Pairing: James/David  
Characters: James (OC), David (OC)  
Summary: A night out for James.  
Rating: R  
A/N: Part of the origfic_bingo prompts. The song David and James quote belongs to Nine Inch Nails.  
Warning: See prompt below.  
Prompt: Exhibitionism

James nursed his glass of whiskey and tapped his foot in time to the music. At the moment, he was in a club in Cardiff, feeling a little predatory. He had already picked up five guys and six girls for some fun, taking the edge off his need, but he felt like he was missing something or someone. That someone was his friend named David. David was a tall man with dark hair and green eyes. James used to joke that David was his Harry Potter. Of course, David would retort that James was Ron Weasley. Whenever they were out together they made a striking couple.

He tapped his foot in time to the music, which he thought was a little too loud for his sensitive ears. He was lost in thought and he jumped when an arm wrapped itself around his waist and a voice whispered in his ear from behind him. "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you."

James recognised the voice as belonging to David. "Help me, I broke apart my insides, help me, I’ve got no soul to tell. Help me, the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself." He said in a low voice, not turning around yet.

"I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside. I want to fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to god." The voice replied, still in a whisper. The hand wandered down to gently squeeze James' crotch, eliciting a moan from James' throat.

James turned around to face David and grinned widely. "David, what brings you here?"

"You. I wanted to see you."

"And you tracked me down."

"Yeah, pretty much." David grinned. "I meant what I said by the way. I'd love to..," David grinned and raised his eyebrows, his meaning clear.

James smirked. "You may have to work for it. Want a dance?"

"I don't dance."

"Come on... Please," James begged. He leaned forward. "One little dance and then you can do whatever you want with me."

"I don't dance," David repeated, even he was sorely tempted.

James shrugged. "Your loss then," he stated with a cheeky smirk, downing his whiskey in one. "I'm going to dance, feel free to join in, if you want." He winked as the song changed. "See you soon," he said, heading towards the dance floor.

"You won't get me dancing," David said, leaning on the railing that separated the bar from the dance floor.

James started dancing in a seductive way and drew a handsome male to his side. James raised an eyebrow at the guy, leaning in to whisper in his ear. The guy pulled James into a gentle and brief kiss. The guy pulled back and winked at James, knowing that James wanted to make David jealous.

David made a noise like a growl, deep in his throat and he jumped over the railing and walked behind James and wrapped his arms around James' waist in a gesture that clearly stated 'mine, hands off', causing James to wink back at the guy.

The guy acted dejected and slinked off back to his boyfriend, another handsome guy, and whispered something in his ear.

David watched the guy with narrowed eyes until the guy was engrossed in conversation with his boyfriend. He leaned into James and bit down on James' neck, pulling James back into him. James moaned, leaning into David's chest, allowing David to move their bodies together, in a swaying type of dance.

James turned to face David and gave him a sultry smile, dancing sexily, not quite touching David. "Jealous, are we, David?"

"No. He just looked shifty."

 

After a few songs, David grabbed James' hand and pulled him in for a kiss. "Time we went home," David said, against James' lips, letting his hands wander over James' body.

"Must we? I want you right now," James growled, his eyes dark with lust. He was aware that both he and David were still on the dance floor, but not caring if they had an audience or not.

David grinned, not knowing what to say and kissed him hard. James responded in the same way, nibbling on David's lower lip.

David pulled back slightly. James grabbed the back of David's coat and pulled him in for another kiss. "You're not going all shy on me, are you, David?" James questioned with a grin as he pulled back.

David pressed his lips to James in a bruising kiss. "Cheeky," David muttered with his lips pressed against James'. "I'll give you shy..."

James squeaked in pleasure as David's hand grasped the bulge in his trousers and squeezed slightly. "Fuck, David, I want you... NOW!"

"Anyone would think you missed me."

"I did," James admitted quietly.

"Even with all your pickups tonight, you still missed me." David pulled James into a kiss. He pulled back before James could kiss him back. "I missed you too. I was watching you," he said quietly with his lips inches away from James'.

James allowed a sly smile to cross his face. "Really?"

David pressed his hand against James' chest. "Really." He leaned in to whisper in James' ear. "It turned me on." He pressed his body against James' so James could feel his hardness. "But you knew that. That's why you did it."

James shivered in pleasure at David's words. "All right, you got me," he admitted. "I knew you were there. I know how much you like to watch..."


	3. Rockstar

Title: Rockstar  
Pairing: James/JC  
Characters: James (OC), JC (J Brightwolf) (OC)  
Summary: Relaxing in James' back garden.  
Rating: PG13  
A/N: Part of the origfic_bingo prompts  
Warning: Talk of kinkiness.  
Prompt: Celebrity

 

"I hope I haven't jeopardised your job," J Brightwolf, also known as JC, the former lead singer of the rock band, The Wolf Pack, asked as he sat on the other chair across from James in the red headed chef' back garden. The rock star was puffing on a cigarette which also was his second of the day. "I mean, because we are sort of dating now."

"No. As long as I don't let it interfere in my work, they don't care." James shook his head. "I have heard that people are writing fiction about the three of us," he said, referring to their girlfriend, Martha, who they openly shared as they had a polyamorous relationship.

JC laughed, blowing grey smoke out at the same time and flicked the ash in an ashtray next to his chair. "You kinky sod. I bet you hunt it down on the Internet and then you decide to play around with it."

James allowed a cheeky smile to cross his face. "Well, there was that one with the chains, blindfold and feathers that I came across. It was very kinky."

"Is that your way of asking if we should try it out?" JC asked, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray.

James smirked. "Well, you know me, always willing to try out new things."

"Shall we get Martha to be our mistress again?"

"I bet the press would have a field day with what we actually get up to in our bedrooms," James pointed out. "Especially with that last outfit Martha wore..."

"Mm, that was sexy. Think we can get her to wear it again?" JC sighed. "I don't know why the press would be interested in my private life."

"Because you're good looking, have a sexy singing voice and happen to be famous."

"It still shouldn't matter about my private life..."

"And you have a huge following of fangirls who think everything you do is sexy."


	4. What I Am

Title: What I am  
Pairing:  
Characters: James (OC) Alt!James (OC)  
Summary: James meets his alternate self.  
Rating: PG13  
A/N: Part of the origfic_bingo prompts  
Warning: Slight Doctor Who/Torchwood crossover.  
Prompt: Wildcard - AU Meeting alternate selves

 

"Deja Vu," James muttered as he took in his alternative self. "This is strange."

"You're telling me?" the other James retorted. "You say you're my alternative self and... I need a coffee."

"Just don't let the Doctor sonic it," James pointed out as they walked over to the coffee machine. "Look, I'm you and you're me. Why didn't you travel with the Doctor when he asked?" He poured the coffee and handed his alternate self a cup.

"I'm needed here."

"And that's it? The Doctor needs someone too."

"Yes. So I'm guessing you're a version of me that did go with the Doctor."

"Yep!"

"So you think I should go with him if he asks again?"

"It's up to you...But, yes. He'll take you to so many places and you'll have fun."

"Well, that's if he asks me..." The Alternate James turned to face his counterpart. "Hmm, I should wear green more often," he commented, giving his alternate self a once over.

James raised an eyebrow and returned the look with one of his own. A scar on his alternate self's forearm caught his eye. "How did that happen?"

"Werewolf," the other James replied with a sigh. "I was bitten by a werewolf and then a vampire a little later." He looked worried. "Torchwood found me and helped me adjust."

James didn't answer, he just pulled up his sleeve, exposing an identical scar. "Same here. Except I was bitten while I was travelling with the Doctor."

"So, we were both bitten by the same creatures, yet we have completely different paths. Hmm. Think there's something in it?"

"Dunno, maybe. You work for Torchwood?"

The other James raised an eyebrow. "Well, kinda. Not many people will hire a hybrid, you know. I'm lucky that my friends here are so understanding."

"It also helps to be a workaholic," James answered.

"Yep! So by the time the full moon comes around they're willing to give you that time off."

"Mmhmm," James nodded. "Rob doesn't care whether you're a werewolf or whatever, as long as you do the work."

"I noticed that. So, this dimension jumping power you have... Do you think I also have it?"

James didn't know how to answer that as he didn't want to get his other self's hopes up. "You won't know until you try," he finally said.

The other James sighed. "I... I feel that I've lost a part of me so I need to know if there's any of that me left."

James placed a hand on his alternate self's arm, knowing what his counterpart was referring to and what he was going through. "They're there.... You're just a little rusty, that's all." He grinned. "When do you get off?"

The alternate James raised an eyebrow and James silently cursed at the phrasing he had used. "Bit kinky that."

"I meant when do you finish?"

"Soon. Why?"

"I think I need a drink."

"Wouldn't that interfere in the dimension jumping?"

"Only if I attempt it drunk. That's how I ended up in a werewolf cage one time. It was after I had been bitten so it didn't do much. Never again..."

"Now I need to hear the full story of that."

"Later."

"How am I going to explain you to Rob?"

"Just pretend I'm your identical twin brother," James stated simply.

"Not evil enough," the other James said, giving James another once over.

"Have you seen me before coffee?" James retorted, raising an eyebrow in question. "Well, according to the other chefs, I'm evil before coffee. And he's not evil, just misunderstood."

"Yeah right!"

"He has mellowed a bit now... Well, my one has."

"It's a good job that Jack hasn't met him yet... He'd make some comment."

"My Jack has... and yes, there was the comments. Although he did that with the Doctor and myself."

"Good job Jack isn't here. Especially with the two of us."

James groaned. "I can see his reaction now."

"Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you?" both Jameses said at the same time. They looked at each other and started laughing.

"What if the Doctor comes back while you're here?" the alternate James asked, changing the subject.

James smiled devilishly. "Well, there's two of us and one of him... Like those odds?"

"I like the way you think."

"Perhaps it was best that you didn't go with the Doctor," James mused, looking at his alternate self. "You're less bitter than I am."

The alternate James snorted in derision. "Ha! I haven't had a date in ages because I'm afraid of letting go and maybe accidentally hurting my partner. How can I not be bitter about that?"

"Sounds like you need a holiday." James ignored the glare sent his way and reached into his pocket. "And I know just the man..." he added, pulling out a mobile phone.

"Who?"

James held up a finger. "I only hope he has the same number as my one," he muttered, dialling the number that had become second nature to him and pressing send.


	5. Taste

Title: Taste  
Characters: James (OC), Rob (OC), Dave (OC)  
Summary: James isn't always perfect in the kitchen.  
Rating: PG13  
A/N: Part of the origfic_bingo prompts. Not so much of a disaster, more of a mishap.  
Prompt: Kitchen disaster

James sighed and scowled at the pan of food he was cooking. "Come on!" he growled, prodding at it with a spoon. "Why won't you thicken?" He was not having a good day and he wondered if his day was going to get any worse. He and Rob had been transferred to Main Kitchen for the day due to a shortage of chefs to cook for six hundred hungry soldiers.

"Cheer up, James," Rob said from beside James. "It's only Main Kitchen."

Main Kitchen had a reputation for having chefs that could just about scrape food together and it wasn't always edible, well, at least not to James' tastebuds anyway. James supposed it was practice for when the soldiers, or squaddies as they were know, went on the field, anything would taste like a gourmet meal compared to the fare they were getting at the moment. He supposed he was being a bit unfair to the chefs at Main Kitchen as they were just starting out.

"Yeah, but still..," James trailed off, shaking his head.

"Hey, if you make it too good," Rob said with a grin, "Dave might steal you away from me."

James quirked an eyebrow. "Are you two fighting over me again?" he teased, referring to the epic arguments that had occurred between the two head chefs. Anyone who didn't know both Dave and Rob might think they hated each other but, in fact, when they weren't working they were good friends. They just liked to argue. The main topic of their arguments was James as Dave wanted James to come over to Main Kitchen to help bring the food quality up. Rob was stubborn and telling Dave that James was his and no other chef would be getting him. During one memorable argument, James had butted in and commented that while he was flattered that he was being fought over, there was plenty of him to go around.

Rob mock glared at James. "Don't you start," he warned.

"You know me, I like to..," James became aware of a smell of burning invading his senses. He looked down to see that the pan he was using was the source of the burnt smell. "Oh for..." he growled, realising the sauce he was stirring had burnt to the bottom of the pan.

Rob looked at James in concern. "Are you all right? You don't usually burn things."

"I'm fine. Just not used to this kitchen," James answered, brushing off Rob's concern. "Welcome to Main Kitchen," he added, trying to lighten the mood. He picked up the large pan by the handles. "I'll have to start again," he grumbled, "but what's a burnt pan between friends, eh?" He nodded his head at the pan in his hands. "I'll put this in pot wash and then I'll try again."

Rob shook his head and watched as his friend headed off to the pot wash area. He knew James would see the burnt sauce as a disaster but in a way he couldn't blame him. "You were always a perfectionist," he muttered, turning back to his own cooking.

"Speaking about yourself, are you?" James said from behind him, causing Rob to jump.

"Will you quit sneaking up on me?" Rob scolded, looking like he wanted to hit James on the arm. "You all right?"

"Yeah, if I'm a perfectionist, then you definitely are," James said, gathering ingredients for the second attempt.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No."

"So how bad was it?" Rob asked, meaning the pan.

James snorted as he busied himself with preparing the fresh ingredients. "Well, let's put it this way, it's worse than that time 'you know who' tried to cook me breakfast in bed for my birthday." He scowled as he remembered the amount of smoke that was present on that occasion. "While I appreciated the thought, he is definitely banned from the kitchen. Well, at least until he gets cooking lessons."

"That bad, huh?"

"Mmhmm," James answered with a nod. He began adding the ingredients to the pan and stirred.

"Oh no."

"He said it was because he got distracted."

"Did he? What about you? You seem distracted."

"I'm not distracted."

"You all right, James?" a new voice cut in, saving James from answering. The speaker was a light brown haired man with brown eyes in his mid-thirties.

James turned to look at the new arrival and saw it was Dave, the head chef of Main Kitchen. "Hey Dave."

"Dave," Rob said with a nod, directed at Dave. "Say, Mate, are you going to come out with us tonight?" he asked Dave.

"Sure."

James groaned. "As long as it's not karaoke."

Dave and Rob shared a mischievous look. "We'll get you singing," Rob promised.

James raised a hand in warning. "No way. I might set the kitchen on fire due to being distracted."

"You wouldn't," Dave said with a gasp.

"He would," Rob said as an aside to Dave. "He's been taking pyromaniac lessons from a certain someone."


	6. Trouble

Title: Trouble  
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness, James (OC)  
Summary: A late night visit from the Doctor, Rose and Jack causes chaos for James.  
Rating: PG13  
A/N: Part of the origfic_bingo prompts  
Prompt: AU: Crossover

 

James groaned as a wheezing sound cut into his dream and pulled the covers back over his head. "What now?" he groaned as the sound got louder. He pulled the covers from his head, looked at the clock on his bedside table and let out a long sigh. "What could you possibly want at two in the morning?" he grumbled.

He sat up as there was a loud crash from downstairs. "Break any of my plates," James growled as he swung his feet out of bed, "and I'll break you." Another crash. "Same goes for my coffee mug," he muttered as he slipped his slippers on and stood up. He ran his fingers through his unruly red hair, cursing as his fingers found a couple of tangles. "I take it back. I'm so going to be having words..."

James made his way silently down the stairs to come face to face with a man he recognised as Captain Jack Harkness, who was poking about in James' kitchen cupboard. Jack wasn't alone as he was accompanied by a blonde girl, who he knew was Rose Tyler, who was looking in the fridge, and a leather clad man, who James recognised from a picture that his Doctor had shown him, as being one of the previous regenerations of the Doctor. The Doctor was currently waving his sonic screwdriver around James' kitchen, coming uncomfortably close to the percolator. "Anything?" the Doctor asked, not bothering to keep his voice down.

"What we looking for?" Rose asked, peeking at the Doctor behind the open fridge door. "Doctor?"

"That's what I want to know," James said calmly, coming into the kitchen and making the three time travellers jump. "I also want to know what you broke."

"Captain Jack Harkness and who are you?" Jack asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not in the mood," James answered, scowling at the three invaders. His scowl deepened as he looked at Rose. "Close the fridge, will you? You're letting all the cool air out. I doubt whatever you are looking for is in there." He turned to the Doctor. "So, please explain what you are looking for."

The Doctor matched James' scowl with one of his own. "Why don't you go back to bed and let the experts sort it out?"

James scoffed at that. "How can I when you're making a racket? You still haven't told me what you broke."

"I'm the Doctor and..."

James raised an eyebrow at him. "I kinda gathered that." He stepped forward. "Tell me what you're looking for and maybe I can help." He ran his hand through his hair again. "Look, it looks like I'm not going to be getting any more sleep and I've got to be up in two hours anyway." He groaned. "I need a coffee."

"You never did tell me your name," Jack said, trying to flirt with James.

James sighed. Was Jack going to keep flirting with him until he gave in? Well, it was only his name. It couldn't do any harm. "James. My name is James." He shook his head as he flipped the switch to turn the percolator on. "This is going to cause a paradox," he muttered, stifling a yawn.

"Why do you have to be up in two hours?" Rose asked.

"I have to go to this thing called work," James retorted grumpily. "Wait till I tell Rob this," he grouched. "Is whatever you hunting going to suck out my brains or whatever?" he asked.

"What makes you think we're hunting anything?" the Doctor questioned curiously.

"You're in my house... At an ungodly hour. I don't think you're trying to get me to change my gas supply."

"We could be burglars," Rose pointed out.

"No. Burglars wouldn't have such a noisy vehicle," James stated. "Besides, you would've run once you knew I was there. Also not many burglars travel around in a blue box."

"Why do I get the feeling you know more than you're telling?" the Doctor questioned. "How did you know it was a vehicle?"

James smirked and helped himself to coffee. "Want some?" he asked, to be polite more than anything.

The Doctor shrugged and helped himself to a coffee. James noticed that the Doctor took his coffee with just milk and filed that fact away for future reference. "What we have here is something alien," he said, ignoring the look Rose shot him. Jack smiled. James didn't need to be a telepath to know what Jack was thinking.

James shook his head and sighed, resigning himself to a night of alien hunting. "So, animal, vegetable or mineral?"


End file.
